When one door closes...

In my last post, I mentioned that this would be my last week at home with Lilly on maternity leave. My plans to return to work on Monday changed when my boss told me over the phone that I was being laid off. He said he hopes he can someday re-hire me but with the economy being so bad I’m not counting on that being anytime soon. Yep, I am now just one person in this statistic “With the country’s unemployment rate at a 25 year high, 12.5 million people are currently out of work--and millions more may be laid off in the coming months.” –Oprah.com

Deep down, I knew that I was the next one to go due to my lack of experience and cross training on the team. I am doing my best not to play the “victim” role here but I have seriously been in a complete funk all week. Normally, I have no problem pulling myself together and moving on. KBIC has been a huge part of my life and family since September 12, 2006 and even longer then that if you take into consideration that my Dad has worked there since I was 8 years old. I have a great deal of understanding behind the awful economy and logic / reasoning behind my being laid off but at the end of the day it leaves me feeling sad.

I remember, 2 and half years ago when I told my Dad I was interested in working at KBIC he was a little bit hesitant being my Dad and all. So with his permission, I then approached Jeff (the C.E.O.) at the gym and told him that I was interested in working at KBIC. We later scheduled a quick meeting where he hired me to work for KBIC as an intern making $9.00 an hour. I’ll never forget it, he told me I could work as much as I wanted. I was determined to work as much as I could and find something I was good at. Filling out timesheets was short lived when the construction teams hired me as an Internet Recruiter. I felt like “Ms. Independent”, for the first time, I had a salary with benefits and was motivated by making placements for additional commission dollars. After doing Internet Recruiting, digging for candidates on all corners of the web, Nick (the C.O.O.) approached me with the idea of joining his finance team. I was super thrilled for two reasons, 1.) I think very highly of him so the fact that he wanted me to work for him was a huge compliment and 2.) I knew I was going to be challenged by being introduced to world where I could learn the behind the scenes of running a company. I learned a ton, worked hard, and am forever grateful for the opportunity I had at KBIC. I actually imagined myself becoming a Managing Partner one day. God has other plans in mind.

I will miss “the girls”, as I mentioned in this post Jackie, Kelly, and I shared an office together. We leaned on each other all the time and became like sisters. They probably didn’t realize this, but having them to talk to everyday helped me get trough my first long separation from Mark while he was at boot camp and “A” school. I will miss team lunches. I will miss the people. I will miss working at the same company as KK and my Dad. I will miss my clipboard and list of daily tasks. I will miss the challenges. I will miss my oh so colorful spreadsheets. I will miss helping people. I will miss planning events. I will miss deadlines. Most of all, I will miss the culture and having a job that I loved.

I’m trusting in God and can’t help but wonder if maybe this is His way of telling me my plate would have been a little too full with a four month old, three year old, and husband away in Afghanistan plus a full time job. Just maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

Ironically, Addison picked out her “rainbow” book a.k.a. Oh, the Places You’ll Go! By Dr. Suess tonight for me to read to her before she went to sleep. While reading this book to her, I couldn’t help but think about how Dr. Suess’ famous lines applied to my life right now.

I’m sorry to say so
But, sadly, it’s true
That Bang-ups
And Hang-ups
Can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
In a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
With an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
That you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
You’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
Is not easily done.

While reading to Addison, I realized that I’m not sure if I should turn left or right… or right and three quarters. He says, Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind. I have no idea what my next move will be. I will be searching the web for other job opportunities and will even be looking into going back to school. One thing I do know, no matter if I go left or right, I trust that He is in control. For today, I’m going to enjoy being a SAHM / Navy Wife until another door opens.