It's already almost 11:30 p.m. and I can tell it's going to be another night of very little sleep. The other day, KK, said, Ashley, I don't know how you have time to do it all (Mommyhood, photography hobby, etc.). My response was... I never sleep. Many nights I'll read, edit photos, or do research into the early hours of the morning until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. I wish I was like Edward and never needed to sleep at all.
With Mark off somewhere in a field playing with machine guns, (okay, not playing but you know what I mean) getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan I can't shut my thoughts off at night. I'm staring at the "what ifs" directly in the face and it is a scary place to be. I HAVE to learn to control my thoughts and trust in Him. Trust that my husband will come home safely from his deployment and that we'll just pick up right where we left off. I've always been a night owl but it's so much worse when he's not laying in bed next to me. I miss him.
Sigh.
On the bright side, I get to see him in just a few days for a family farewell weekend. This will be the hardest goodbye yet. It will be the last time I see him before he goes over there.. to the other side of the world. So far away from me and our little girls all to selflessly fight for our/your freedom. I can barely see the screen because it makes me tear up just thinking about it.
Can you tell I'm having a moment?
Well, I'm going to suck it up, pray, and go count sheep.
I have a big day tomorrow. It's the first day of school!! Humanities, Intro to Business, Cultural Anthropology, and Photography here I come! I feel like I'm 10 years old all over again. I hope I don't get lost and that I make new friends. :)
